There’s something about me only a few people know. I tried for a long time to keep it secret by staying away from crowds, sitting in dark corners, and dressing incognito. Sadly, word got out, people began to talk, and photographs were circulated. So now my secret is out, and there is no turning back. Now the world knows I am fat.
Being of surplus weight is painful both emotionally and physically. For the past few years the physical pain and exhaustion prevented me from doing anything that would cause exertion. The one activity I actually enjoyed that I had to give up was gardening. Not that I’ve ever been good at it, but I do enjoy sprinkling some seeds around and watching them grow into colorful flowers. At least I tried for a while. Then I stopped trying anything at all.
The good news is I’ve done something about the weight, and it’s dropping off slowly but surely. The pain is fading on all fronts. I’m enjoying life again after a long time of not enjoying anything except the taste of sugar. It’s like waking up after a long sleep and realizing I forgot to set an alarm and almost missed my life.
The husband is waking up a little bit, too, I think. He’s begun to think about cleaning out the garden beds that have sat neglected for over two years. He even bought me some chickens to liven up things around here. If I could bottle and sell the stress-relieving feeling I get from watching chickens, I would never have to work again.
The husband has started the long-term garden plan by tilling up the side yard, so I’ve finally got some bare, tilled dirt I can sprinkle a few seeds in to watch them grow. I’ve even gone as far as to plunk some tomatoes and peppers in the ground, something I did not even consider doing last year.
The front gardens are still in a sad state, and it will be a long time before I can do any planting in them. Even then the plan is to make a lawn instead of flower beds. Instead, to satisfy my garden cravings I put some new things in old pots, spruced up some old things that have been languishing, and put all the pots along a brick wall outside my breakfast room window so I can enjoy them and remember to water them. I know I’m going to water the chickens, so it makes it easy to water the plants at the same time.
For the first time in a very long time, I’m finally feeling myself again. I’m shedding the bad Halloween costume I’ve been wearing and emerging from the shadows. Like those seeds I sprinkled around I’m growing in a good way, and allowing myself to show my colors again. What a relief it is.