Lost moments in tornado dreams

I was trying to take a picture of my sister and it blurred.  A real lost moment.

This afternoon I decided that instead of the nap I so desperately wanted to take I would spend some time on my back porch.  When Lily left I sent away her doghouse and set up a sitting area I never find time to use.  The space is at the far end of the covered porch right outside my bedroom door.  It was such a good spot for Lily.  If she was in her house she could look straight ahead into the breakfast room and watch us at the table, or she could look slightly to the right and see me in my sleeping spot.  If she looked slightly to the left she could watch the wild birds eat from the feeders and lie in wait for one to knock itself cold flying into a window.  She did love the taste of wild bird.  I miss Lily.

So instead of sleeping I sit awake in her space and watch the quail as they creep ever so slowly out of the woods and into the open for a taste of cracked corn and sunflower seeds.  A few doves and squirrels and a lone rabbit have been sharing in the feast as well.  The wind chime above my head knocks slightly on this breezy day, and smoke from nearby (controlled) brush fires wafts deliciously through the air, adding smell as another sense that has been stimulated on this lazy warm afternoon.  Spring is so close I could almost touch it, but I don’t dare to wish it aloud.

I wanted to spend this time to write about two subjects, but they are unrelated and I can’t think of a way to weave them together in one essay.  So I guess I’ll choose the idea about my dreams again since dreams seem to be an important part of my life. In the last few weeks a new dream theme has emerged in my sleeping hours.  The count of dreams with this new theme is now four in as many weeks. 

 

In the first dream I was in a big city on a tour bus, presumably New York City, and I saw a huge clock tower with a lively crescent moon face.  I was thrilled by it and I pulled out my camera to take a picture but the shutter button jammed and I couldn’t get the shot.  The bus was moving so there was no second chance.  About that time a spectacular thing was happening in the sky.  Above the iconic skyline there were flares, like smoke bombs, shooting off and the smoke was making incredible shapes in the sky.  Some of the shapes looked like small tornados.  Again, I was thrilled but when I went for the picture the shutter jammed again; no picture.  The moment was lost.

I don’t remember the details of the second dream, but the sky was amazing.  The clouds had formed to look like a wallpaper pattern of small cabbage roses.  Out comes the camera and the shutter jams again.  Another lost opportunity.

In the third dream a tornado was raging through my house, but it wasn't my house.  Amazingly the house was unharmed by the storm.  There was a large open carport and its ceiling had been recently painted.  The tornado had stirred the paint up so that it was swirled on the ceiling like one of those Easter eggs that you dip in the colored oil.  Everyone gathered under it and looked at it in awe.  It was so cool I just had to take a picture.  What happened?  Yep, camera jammed.  No picture, moment lost.

The fourth dream was last night.  I was at a conference in a beach town somewhere on the west coast.  The scenery was amazing.  The beaches had tall dunes of warm sand the color of lightly browned white-bread toast.  Out comes the camera but this time when I took the picture the shutter released and I got the shot.  There was a problem, though.  All I had was a bad telephoto lens.  Looking through the camera was like looking through a macro lense and everything was magnified.  There was no way I could get a picture of the entire landscape so the mood of the picture was completely lost.  Like the other dreams I had feelings of frustration and disappointment.

These dreams have been so sensorial.  I wanted to capture those moments on camera so I could share them so others could experience them as well.  There was always something blocking me.  I missed the moment.  And what’s the deal with tornados anyway? What am I missing out on in my life?  Or better yet, why can’t I hold onto the good things?

Sitting here in Lily’s spot soaking in the fresh, albeit smoky air, the bird sounds and smattered clatter of the wind chime is better than a dream, it’s real.  I waste far too much time sleeping away the weekend.  Is that what my dreams are telling me?  Get out of bed and go and do! 

Everything today is good, so good in fact I was going to use my phone to take a picture of my serene scenery but the battery on my phone just died.   ??